Great! Newsletter #33: Having an anxiety attack? Ask yourself these 6 questions
Will they help? Depends on what you mean by "help."
Hi, and happy Memorial Day!
I’m comedian, writer, actor, and scorned lover, Alexandria Love. Right now, you’re reading my newsletter, The Great! Newsletter, which is named after me because I’m great. Every other Monday, I’ll send something to your inbox that’ll make you say, “I really want to unsubscribe to these, but Alex strikes me as the kind of person who would retaliate over that sort of thing.” And you’d be right! Congrats to you on being so perceptive!
Speaking of my vengeful nature, there’s one other trait that makes me great: I have anxiety. I know, it doesn’t SOUND great, but it’s actually a really useful tool: it tells you when something is wrong. However, sometimes it makes you feel like something is wrong, even when it isn’t, which is so fun!
If you’re like me and you deal with anxiety, take a deep breath, put on some reflective music, and ask yourself the following questions.
6 Questions To Ask Yourself During An Anxiety Attack
Are all my friends mad at me?
Once a year or so, I go on what I like to call the “Are You Mad at Me Tour” where I ask everyone in my life if they’re mad at me. Well, I call it a “tour”, but my friends call it “annoying” and “indicative of greater problems with your mental health.” But I think calling it a tour feels catchier, idk.
Did I leave the stove on?
Never mind that I haven’t cooked a meal at home since 2009. If I leave my house, you can bet your sweet ass I’ve asked myself this question. This leads me to a simple solution: I will never leave my house! It’s a real win-win.
Have I thought enough about death today?
In case you’ve forgotten, it’s inevitable! And it’s coming for you! Also, you forgot to do your taxes this year!
Why am I like this?
If my brain had a catch phrase, it would be this. Why am I like this? This question has the same answer as “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” The world may never know, but my brain is always down to make thousands of consecutive guesses!
Did I really try my best in high school?
I know it’s been fifteen years, but think about it: what’s more important? Moving on with my life, or harping on every mistake I’ve ever made?
Is someone I love in mortal peril? If not, sit quietly and hypothesize all the ways this could occur.
My grandmother loves to garden. What if a carnivorous plant swallows her whole like the evil plant in Little Shop of Horrors? And what’s worse, nobody’s even around to do a jazzy musical number? That’s an ending I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy!
Hope this helps! <3
What do you think? Did I nail it? Of course I did. But if there’s anything I’ve missed, feel free to leave a comment or send me a DM. Also, don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe so that I can finally get out of the hood. Thanks for reading. Care about you, think you’re special.
Oh, and one more thing…
Hey, I heard you were having a panic attack. Please choose whichever one of my internal thoughts applies best to you today.
Claire has a freak out about the stove (she also does not cook) and all of her hair tools every time she leaves the house. We call it Clairanoia.
Here for this incredibly relatable content.