Great! Newsletter #23: Inspiring Quotes from History's Greatest Women
Well, really just one woman. But she's GREAT.
It’s me, Alexandria Love…you’re welcome!
If you don’t know already, I’m an esteemed comedian, acclaimed writer, and professional stalker. You might recognize my name from writing on late-night TV, and you might recognize my face from the darkest corner of your bedroom at 1 AM last night. Yep, that was me! How did I get there? Well, let’s just say…I have a really good agent.1
Speaking of dark corners, let’s talk about the darkest corner of society - the internet. I’ve grown so tired of seeing these clickbait titles with quotes from celebrities that take what they said WAY out of context. Take this headline I saw today, attached to a video about actress, singer, and fellow nonchalant smokeshow, Selena Gomez.
Now, if you just saw the headline and didn’t watch the interview, you might read it as, “Superstar Selena Gomez SLAMS fellow pop sensation Ariana Grande, calls her a slur, spits in her face, and then steps on her Nikes.” But here’s the actual interaction.
Interviewer: "Have you pitched Ari to be on [‘Only Murders in the Building’]?”
Selena: “No.”
Interviewer: “Have you pitched Ari to do music with Ari?”
Selena: “No. Here’s the thing…I just like keeping friends, friends.”
That’s it. No spitting or Nike-stepping. Selena just said that Ariana is her friend, and she keeps her friendships separate from her job. I get it. And anyone who disagrees probably doesn’t have friends OR a job.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a bald-faced lie as much as the next guy. It’s one of the many reasons I would make a great U.S. Senator. But manipulating quotes to make people look bad or to get more post engagement is, to quote my favorite movie, not very “Hakuna Matata” of you.
I plan to be a world-famous celebrity, but I will not have my words distorted, twisted, or otherwise misconstrued to get clicks on headlines. Therefore, in the extremely likely possibility that I do become famous, please use these quotes that perfectly capture my grace, articulation, and Shakespearian-level mastery of the English language.
Feel free to share these great quotes on Facebook so your great Aunt Rhonda can reshare them when she’s tired of posting minion memes and rants about immigration.
Oh, and one more thing…
I’ve decided to enter my villain era. This is new for me since I spent my whole life being a little sweetie-pie cutie-patootie. What should be the first move I make in my supervillain arc?
I have a talent manager but not an agent. Just one of the many lies that will contribute to my Senate campaign in 2026.